Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Turns out Hitler was very bad

I was having dinner with extended family. My sister claimed that George W. Bush's dog didn't like him. She thought this was proof that he was a bad man. Like you needed that as proof.

I pointed out that Hitler's dog, Blondi, got along fine with der fuhrer. In fact, Hitler killed Blondi. He tried out the cyanide capsule on him before committing suicide. Blondi didn't suspect a thing. Dogs are poor judges of character. He was as oblivious as the Goebbels children were as their parents prepared to murder them in the bunker.

Blondi and one of the Goebbels children. Both
died of acute cyanide poisoning in 1945.

Most of the people at the table were shocked that Hitler would do such a thing.

I mentioned that other Nazis in the bunker were more upset about Blondi than they were about Eva Braun's death.

I had a conversation a couple of years later with the same people. They seemed to have forgotten everything I told them. My sister mentioned the Pope "excommunicating" the Mafia (he didn't really.) I said that Mussolini had completely crushed the Mafia, then the U.S. invaded Italy and put all the mafia scum into power.

She was surprised that Mussolini did something good.

"Mussolini had his points," I said ironically. I hadn't praised Mussolini---I condemned the U.S. for putting the Mafia in power. They wanted to install a non-Fascist right-wing government, but the opponents of Mussolini had all been Socialists and Communists.

But my sister asked if Hitler had any good points.

"Well, he killed himself," I said. "He took cyanide AND shot himself."

"He was thorough," she said, again missing my point.

"He tested the cyanide on Blondi before he did it."

"Who's Blondi?"

"His German Shepherd."

And again, they were horrified and heartbroken. Poor Blondi! Poor sweet, innocent, trusting Blondi!

"You know, we are talking about Hitler here."

That whole "banality of evil" thing has gone too far. Now people think of Hitler as a dog person.

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