Saturday, October 25, 2014

You want to be a Kardashian?

People talk all the time about how unfair it is that certain people benefit from having a famous name. And they're right. Why should being the son of a famous actor give you an advantage over another actor? Why?

So. Okay. Here's how you can DO something about it! You can take advantage of a famous name just as well as people who are actual members of famous families.

You wouldn't fool anyone, but people would pause for a moment when they see your name. They would consider your resume or your movie an extra few seconds.

These are NAMES, not trademarks.Why SHOULDN'T you be one of the Kardashians?

For ladies, I would suggest:

Karla Kardashian, Kate Kardashian, Kelly Kardashian, Kora Kardashian, Kollette Kardashian,
Kitty Kardashian, Kailee Kardashian


Karl Kardashian, Bruce Kardashian, Bob Kardashian, Ken Kardashian, Kole Kardashian, Klint Kardashian, Kurt Kardashian, Kai Kardashian, Kosmo Kardashian

Of course, Kim Kardashian sued Old Navy for having an actress in a commercial who looked like her. Kardashian has had a lot of plastic surgery, and the actress she was suing over didn't. And she was dancing in the ad, not lumbering around like that bloated Kardashian monster.

Kim, Khloe or Kourtney Jenner.

(Is it true Bruce Jenner is getting a sex change?)

For Coppola, any Italian or Italian-sounding name:

Benito Coppola, Maria Coppola, Abrielle Coppola, Adriana Coppola, Leonardo Coppola.

Look at how many Chinese kung fu stars have used names like Bruce Le, Bruce Li, Lee Bruce, Dragon Lee.

I would suggest someone use Lee Brandon. Robert D. Nero.

Francis Coppola Ford. Lucas George. Stephen Speel Berg. ("Speel" must be a real name in some language.)

Caulay McCulkin. 

Alan Woody (he would sue you, though.)

Charlie Estevez. Carlos Sheen. Emilio Sheen. Martin Estevez.

Sid Poitier. Cindy Poitier. Lee Spike. Franco James. Erin Spelling.

I thought it was awfully coincidental that there a comedy team name Bob Elliott and Ray Goulding, and an actor named Elliott Gould. And I assumed Hyundai was trying to rip-off Honda.

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