Tuesday, March 8, 2011

What's next for Two and Half Men?

So, what should happen now on Two and a Half Men? How can they explain Charlie's absence? His actor uncle had been offering to appear on the show while Sheen went through treatment, but that wouldn't work now.

They could kill Sheen off. Or they could explain that he's been given a long prison sentence, but his brother would need to visit him in prison. Maybe they could say that Charlie was arrested while traveling abroad.

They could do what they did on the old Bewitched and simply have another guy replace Charlie Sheen without explanation.

If they replace him with a new character, should it be another Charlie Sheen-like character? Or should Jon Cryer advance in rank and take on Sheen's characteristics while the new character moves in and is horrified at his hedonistic lifestyle?

And here's an idea: The show is called Two and Half Men. The kid is considered a half-man. What if Charlie Sheen is gone and two more teenagers move into the house?

Or what if they move out of the house? Sheen has finally kicked out Alan and Jake and they move in with another wealthy relative with an objectionable lifestyle.

What if they did it as a dramatic spin-off, like the way the serious drama Lou Grant spun off from The Mary Tyler Moore Show? Jon Cryer helps Angus T Jones cope with teen difficulties.

Probably just time to call it quits.

Monday, March 7, 2011

They fired Charlie Sheen


Well, Charlie Sheen was fired. For "moral turpitude". They didn't fire him after he pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife, in fact they renegotiated his contract. But, of course, I can't really take Charlie Sheen's side in this.

I wonder how Angus T. Jones is coping. And what about Jon Cryer? What will he do now?

Anyway, this may help Sheen. Someone pointed out that his vast amount of money is keeping him from hitting rock bottom.

On the other hand, what do I know? Maybe he did cure himself through the power of his mind. Maybe all those things he's been saying are right. Maybe he does have tiger blood.

From Counterpunch

An interesting article on counterpunch.com about Charlie Sheen. Starts with a quote:

"I'm untouchable! I'm Charlie Sheen! I'm more famous than Obama!"

-- Charlie Sheen to his wife

It’s possible that Carlos Irwin Estevez, the actor known as ‘Charlie Sheen’, is ranting the simple truth when he claims to be invulnerable and indestructible because he’s fleetingly super-famous and has “tiger’s blood” running in his pharmaceutically-enhanced veins...

...

... Exposure is the ultra-violet ray that springs this hardy weed into life, without it he’d be dead or institutionalized. Look on the bright side: we keep Charlie alive.

He goes on to describe Charlie as

a sub-so-so actor of a string of rotten movies except for Oliver Stone’s Vietnam war masterpiece, Platoon, where Charlie superbly played a rookie grunt with divided loyalties.

http://www.counterpunch.com/sigal03072011.html

Nice that someone finally pointed out that Sheen is a sub-so-so actor. That's the thing that always amazed me. I know he's making a fortune on his TV show, but where did he get the $50,000 he blew on prostitutes several years ago, before the show?

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Overnight, Troy Duffy, The Boondock Saints

I remember many years ago. It was the only episode of thirtysomething [sic] I ever saw. One of the guys in his thirties is given the task of directing a commercial. He runs the gamut of emotions. He starts out acting like some sort of cinematic genius until his son asks him what the first thing is he will do when they start filming. He realizes he had no idea what he's doing.

That thought crossed my mind watching the documentary, Overnight. If Harvey Weinstein handed you fifteen million dollars to make a movie, how would you go about it? What you probably wouldn't do is get drunk every night, stagger into meetings with your benefactor hung over wearing overalls, verbally abuse everyone around you, shout threats and obscenities over the phone....

When things start to go bad, Troy Duffy wonders, "Could we threaten people more?"

The documentary was going to be about the making of the movie Boondock Saints, but it ended up being about Troy Duffy's self-destruction.

Duffy was a loud obnoxious bartender/bouncer. He and members of a band he was in had moved to Los Angeles to pursue their musical career. He wrote the script, The Boondock Saints, a vigilante story. When another producer shows interest in it, Harvey Weinstein snatches it up without reading it. He offers Duffy a better deal which includes, among other things, a recording contract for the band.

From Roger Ebert's review:
[Duffy] is very full of himself. At one point he actually says that Harvey Weinstein would like to be him. He keeps all of the money, tells the guys in the band they will get paid later, later tells them they don't deserve a dime, and still later tells them, "You do deserve it, but you're not gonna get it." He is deeply satisfied with himself: "We got a deep cesspool of creativity here," he says, and boasts "this is the first time in history they've signed a band sight unseen." Also, he might have reflected, sound unheard. As he's acting out his ego trip, the camera shows the others in the room looking at him with what can only be described as extremely fed-up expressions. His family, we sense during one scene, has been listening to this blowhard for a lifetime, and although they are happy to share his success, they're sort of waiting to see how he screws up.
And screw up he does. Of course.

So, well. It's a pretty entertaining documentary. Far better than The Boondock Saints turned out to be. I guess I'm not giving anything away here. The movie does eventually get made at a fraction of the original budget.

According to the co-director of the documentary: "Troy seemed to revel in the attention of Hollywood's lights and our cameras. Only three times during the production did he ask not to be filmed. It was on those occasions that he threatened us."

Ray Carney, the Boston University prof, appears briefly in the movie. There's a link to his website on here. Duffy speaks to Carney's class with predictable results.

Well, even if Duffy had been a nice guy, it would probably have ended badly. Then the documentary would have been a cautionary tale about the dangers of being nice rather than the dangers of being a big obnoxious drunk.

Movie comedians used to be stupid

There were the Ritz Brothers. Starred in a few movies. They were on a train. Their agent was with them. He fell asleep. So the zany Ritz Brothers gave him a "hot foot". That's where you stick a match in the sole of a person's shoe and light it so that it burns his foot. They thought it was funny back then, which is sort of ironic because antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet and a blister caused by a burn could become infected and cause death by blood poisoning.

The Three Stooges got the idea for their eye gouging from an actual incident. They were performing somewhere. They were in a hotel. Larry went out. When he came back, Moe looked out the window and saw him on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and dropped a piece of pie on his head. Larry came up to the room and was so angry that he jabbed Moe in the eyes.

The Marx Brothers were left waiting for a long time in a studio head's office. So they took their clothes off and started cooking potatoes in the fireplace. I guess the idea was that they had been waiting so long that they had become feral. Which is sort of funny.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Another historical detail about The King's Speech

Alexander Cockburn mentioned this in his column on counterpunch.com:
The inhibitions that prompted the stutter extended to other regions of the King’s body, as Kitty Kelley narrates in her fine book The Royals. Sexual dysfunction plagued poor George VI. Elizabeth and Margaret were conceived (respectively in 1926 and 1930) with the help of artificial insemination, donor undisclosed. Actually, since the sisters did not resemble each other, we can assume two donors were involved.
Something like 40% of Americans have royal ancestry. Or do they? The current British Royal Family may not have any royal ancestors.

Guys filming something----but for what?


I saw two guys with Flip cameras. One was filming traffic with the camera down on the sidewalk. The other was standing, filming, standing on the safety island halfway across the street.

I kept looking at the camera, so I may have ruined the shot.

And something unrelated from Two and a Half Men
"Let me tell you about your Uncle Charlie. He puts on a happy face, but deep down, he is a sad, lonely person."
Jon Cryer to Angus T. Jones.

I don't know why I put that here. It doesn't really reflect anything about Charlie Sheen and his present difficulties. I don't know if he's sad or lonely, and I don't know that he ever tried to appear especially happy. He's not like, uh-----well, what famous person is there who went around trying to appear happy? Maurice Chevalier? Rosalind Russell?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

People who look like Emilio Estevez

I don't know how I felt about Charlie Sheen. I'm not sure what I've ever seen him in other than his TV show.

And I'll tell you something weird about his brother, Emilio Estevez. I've know three guys over the years who looked and sounded just like him. One of them was in film school, and I thought he should give himself a stage name, like Emilio Sheen, and star in his own movies. But he never made any movies. He works as a photographer now. His bachelor's degree and his resemblance to Emilio Estevez both wasted.

I also knew a guy who looked and sounded like Neal Diamond and another guy who looked and sounded like Harry Reasoner.

I find it strange that they looked and sounded like them. Celebrity look-alikes are common enough. Do they usually sound like them, too?