Sunday, March 26, 2017

Shotgun Slade

 
And one more: Shotgun Slade, another half-hour 1950s TV western.

Apparently private eye shows were edging out westerns on TV at the time, so they compromised. They made a western about a "private detective" in old west whose weapon is a shotgun-rifle combination. I thought all detectives back then were private.

Had a jazz soundtrack which was pretty good for a western. It really wasn't bad. Shotgun Slade brings a man who embezzled tens of thousands of dollars from a children's charity to justice and thwarts some train robbers in the process.


It might have been better without the combination shotgun rifle gimmick, though.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Annie Oakley (1954-1957)

 
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I was watching another 1950s western, Annie Oakley, with Gail Davis in the title role. Less adult than some other westerns. Entirely fictional, nothing in the show related in any way to the life of the real Annie Oakley except that she wore a ridiculous western cowgirl costume and could shoot really well.

In the introduction, we see Annie standing up on the back of a galloping horse firing a gun and precisely shooting a hole in the middle of a playing card a man was holding in his hand.

And yet she never shoots anyone.


In one episode she leaps from a horse onto a moving stage coach being chased by criminals who are shooting at them and had just killed the driver. Annie grabs reins and lets the stage coach guy ineffectually shoot at the criminals until he gets killed, too. Obviously she should have let him drive. She could have effortlessly killed those guys.

She shoots guns out of people's hands and that's about all. She gets kidnapped, her little brother gets kidnapped, and she still doesn't shoot anyone.

It wasn't that they were trying to be non-violent. They had murders in every episode, some of them witnessed by her preteen brother. The kids' uncle is sheriff and he goes around punching people in the face even when conflicts could have easily been resolved.

They just never let women shoot people on these westerns.

One time, on The Big Valley, Miss Barbara Stanwyck was kidnapped and held for days. She finally got her hands on a gun and even then all she did was hold them at bay. They still wouldn't let her kill anybody.

Reportedly, Annie Oakley would have continued at least one more season, but Jimmy Hawkins who played her brother killed it with his adolescent growth spurt, although I don't know why that should have ended it.

The show is now public domain and available on streaming video.

Jimmy Hawkins (left) as Tagg being menaced.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Justin Bieber has another great big tattoo


He was such a lovely boy. Which may be the problem. How many boys want to be "lovely"? So Justin Bieber uglied himself up by plastering himself with tattoos like an idiot.

Bieber was in a couple of episodes of CSI when he was sixteen or seventeen. One of the women on the show told reporters that he was a brat which caused her some negative feedback, so she backed down and said that he was really a pretty good actor, a natural talent. The boy could have had that to fall back on. He could have been a singer-turned-actor. But how many movies would Frank Sinatra have done if he had had tattoos all over him? You think David Cassidy would have gotten on The Partridge Family looking like that?

Let's face it: Tattoos are for dummies.

One of the problems is that once they have them, it's too late to do anything about it so people have to be polite and not point out that they've permanently disfigured themselves. 

How many of these people have gone out and gotten more and more tattoos because people politely pretended to like them?

Justin Bieber's degenerate father started getting him tattoos when he was fifteen. Imagine the mind that would do that. Years ago, two subhumans used India ink and a needle to tattoo their screaming, sobbing 8-year-old nephew. Tattooed his name, Billy, on his arm. They went to prison like Bieber's father should have.

I had a friend in junior high school who had a tiny "J" on his arm. It looked like he wrote it with blue ballpoint pen, but it was always there. I finally asked him about it. He mocked me for thinking he had written it on his arm---how ridiculous! Why would anyone write a letter J on their arm with a pen! He explained he tattooed himself. He was going to write his whole name, but it was so painful he stopped at the first letter. Which was just as well. Why would you want a tattoo of your own name? It's only slightly stupider than people tattooing their children's birth dates on themselves. Are they worried they'll forget? And that's only slightly stupider than Angelina Jolie tattooing the geographic coordinates of her children's places of birth on her arm. She may be even dumber than her cretinous father. She has "Know your rights" tattooed on her back. It should say "Don't be a flaming jackass".

Saturday, March 18, 2017

John Rayne Rivello, Kurt Eichenwald


 Kurt Eichenwald

Years ago, there was an "art film" made by splicing clear and opaque film leader together. The film consisted entirely of light flashing on screen, and it contained a warning at the beginning that it could cause epileptic seizures. Apparently the filmmaker thought that a few potentially fatal seizures in audience members was a reasonable price to pay for such a great work of art.

The warning at the beginning of the film included a statistic that it could induce seizures in one in every so many thousand people. So few people saw the thing, it's unlikely it triggered anything.

But there was a cartoon broadcast on TV in Japan that did trigger seizures in a number of people. In fact, when the Simpsons went to Japan, they used this as a gag, like it was a regular feature of Japanese television.

So anyway, an anti-Semitic Trump supporter calling himself "Jew Goldstein" was arrested for sending a flashing GIF to journalist Kurt Eichenwald. Eichenwald is known to have epilepsy. It triggered a seizure.

Since then, Eichenwald received the same image from 40 other Trump enthusiasts.

"Jew Goldstein's" real name is John Rayne Rivello of Salisbury, Maryland. The FBI arrested him and will send him to Dallas where Eichenwald lives. He is charged with criminal cyberstalking with the intent to kill or cause bodily harm. He faces ten years in prison.

John Rayne Rivello's mugshot. Poor fool.

Pic the FBI found of him before 
he cleaned himself up for his mugshot.

I don't know why anti-Semites are using Jewish names online, but I've seen the same thing with anti-Arab racists.

Eichenwald is an Episcopalian, by the way.

According to the Justice Department:

"...Evidence received pursuant to a search warrant showed Rivello’s Twitter account contained direct messages from Rivello’s account to other Twitter users concerning the victim.  Among those direct messages included statements by Rivello, including 'I hope this sends him into a seizure,' 'Spammed this at [victim] let’s see if he dies,' and 'I know he has epilepsy.'

"Additional evidence received pursuant to a search warrant showed Rivello’s iCloud account contained a screenshot of a Wikipedia page for the victim, which had been altered to show a fake obituary with the date of death listed as Dec. 16, 2016.

"Rivello’s iCloud account also contained screen shots from epilepsy.com with a list of commonly reported epilepsy seizure triggers and from dallasobserver.com discussing the victim’s report to the Dallas Police Department and his attempt to identify the Twitter user."

Eichenwald was incapacitated for several days, lost the feeling in one hand and had trouble speaking for several weeks as a result.

So now there's a crowd-funding site raising money for Rivello's defense. Here are some comments from Rivello's supporters:
Kikenwald will lose this case based on his DOCUMENTED actions (drunk as fuck, sleep & medicine deprived), then he will get counter sued. These yids need to be put in their place.
You forget criminal cases generally bankrupt "little people".
This fucker is doing this explicitly to ruin the life of someone with far less money and power.
We need constitutional amendments against crap like this.
Why is the ADL not supporting this victim of anti-semitism, Mr. Goldstein? I can't believe Aryan monsters like Eichenwald (Buchenwald???)!

I imagine that if I pretended I had a seizure bc some guy sent me a fucking GIF over twitter and then I tried to sic the fbi on them that the fbi would no doubt tell me to go fuck my self and quit wasting their time.

Of course not you goyim peasant.

John "Jew Goldstein" Rivello did nothing wrong.

Gas The Kikes, Race War Now

I am new to this story but if a Jew died then that is FANTABULOUS!

Wouldn't it be easier to hire a BLM thug to "discuss" Mr Kikenwald's white privilege in a back alley somewhere?

jews aren't white- AH covered this 80 years ago

Well, one of them's going to prison. Forty others have done the same thing. We'll see if the FBI hunts them down as well. It can't be that hard.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Joey Hensley, incest, artificial insemination, etc

Dr. Joey Hensley

I mentioned a then-X-rated 1950s British movie a while back. A man sues for divorce. He and his wife had resorted to artificial insemination after finding out he was sterile. He turned on his wife and claimed that this constituted adultery.

How could anyone call artificial insemination adultery? But now I read this in Counterpunch.com:

Dr. Joey Hensley is bigoted Tennessee state legislator who has built his political career by attacking the LGBT community. Now courtesy of court records from his divorce we learn that Dr. Hensley has been carrying on an affair over the course of several years with his nurse, who also happens to be his cousin. Hensley also served as his lover’s doctor and prescribed her a steady diet of prescription drugs. Hensley, who was the chief sponsor of the “Don’t Say Gay Bill“, refused to testify at the divorce trial claiming “doctor-patient privilege.” Shortly before this story broke, Hensley had introduced a bill in the Tennessee Senate that would deem babies born through artificial insemination “illegitimate.” Dr. Hensley is, of course, a self-described “family values Republican.” [emphasis added.]

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Big Jake (1971)

I don't like Chris Mitchum's hat.

It's not every day that you see children murdered in a movie. Even in a movie like Man Bites Dog, the profoundly offensive French "comedy" about a film crew following a serial killer, the child he tries to kill gets away. When there's a child involved, there's little suspense because you know full well nothing's going to happen to him.  

In this movie, you get the worst of both worlds. You see two children casually murdered in the raid at the beginning, then you sit there knowing nothing is going to happen to the kid who was kidnapped.

Big Jake (1971) is about a rich family in Texas in 1909. A band of outlaws led by Richard Boone raid their ranch, murder several people and kidnap the 8-year-old grandson of the family matriarch (Maureen O'Hara). They demand a one million dollar ransom ($25,281,000 in today's money).

Maureen O'Hara sends her estranged husband, Jake (John Wayne) along with his two sons, Patrick Wayne (John Wayne's actual son) and Chris Mitchum (Robert Mitchum's son) to Mexico, ostensibly to deliver the ransom and bring back the kid, "Little Jake" (played by Ethan Wayne, John Wayne's youngest son).

Shortly before they're to deliver the ransom, they're attacked by a different gang trying to get their hands on the money. The two sons find out by accident that there is no money. The trunk is full of newspaper. John Wayne explains that he and their mother decided they weren't going to pay a gang after they killed everybody and they were going to rescue the kid and kill all the kidnappers. It seems like something they should have been told earlier so they could give some thought as to how they were going to do this. And if John Wayne had been killed, they would have had no idea there was no money until the kidnappers opened the trunk.

In the end, they kill all the kidnappers and rescue the child. Not much of a spoiler there. John Wayne and his sons all survive. They're strangely indifferent to the death of John Wayne's Indian friend, Sam (Bruce Cabot).

It would have been better if one or both of Big Jake's sons had been killed. Better still if Big Jake himself died. Having the entire family survive made it like an episode of Bonanza or The Big Valley.

As it was, Maureen O'Hara's decision not to pay the ransom was of no consequence. All she did was send her adult sons on an adventure so they could bond with their elderly father. They slaughtered two entire gangs of murderers and came out fine.

John Wayne was too cheerful through the whole thing. Was he always like this? Smiling at every act of violence. Smiling as they set off to kill everyone. How many times did he get punched in the face in this thing? He was 64. In real life, that could have killed him.

Strangely, a lot of people love the movie. There's a guy in England doing a remake.

When I first saw this thing, I took it to be John Wayne's answer to The Professionals.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Orson Welles' last, unfinished film

 
I heard somewhere that Orson Welles' last, unfinished feature, The Other Side of the Wind, was locked in a vault somewhere in Iran. He apparently got funding from pre-revolutionary Iranian sources. But, no, the 1,083 reels of film were sitting in a French film lab all this time. The film is now being completed and will reportedly be released on Netflix.

How many movies do film labs have lying around? Someone found out that Ed Wood never had the money to get one of his films back from the lab, so they went and paid the charges and released the thing on videotape.

Welles said in an interview that he didn't know why, but he was always really slow on post-production. He could write a script in a week, but once the thing was shot, it took him forever to edit.