Zach Braff talks to Woody Allen

Charles Bronson and Ingmar Bergman had the same publicist. Bergman wanted to meet Bronson, so the publicist took him to a movie set Bronson was working on. Bronson started explaining what they were working on. They were doing a shot with a machinegun so they were setting up the fake blood and fake bullet strikes. "But you're a director, so you know about all this," Bronson said.

"No, no, this is very interesting," Bergman said.

"You mean, you don't make movies with machine guns?" Bronson said.

I doubt this happened, but I read it in a book.

I was reminded of it when I read Zach Braff enthuse that he had recently explained Kickstarter to Woody Allen. Allen is 77. He never heard of it. He was interested and asked Braff intelligent questions about it.

I like to think I would have been less giddy about explaining something to Woody Allen than Braff was.

I already attacked Braff for the Kickstarter thing. I know he says he's putting his own money into the movie, but money from where? From other investments? Is he taking it out of the stock market? Because if he is, to hell with him.

He needs to sacrifice. He needs to eat out less often. He needs to trade in his Porsche for a Corolla. (He'd still have a better car than me.) He needs to sell his house and get an apartment. If he already has an apartment, he needs to get a cheaper apartment. He needs to buy one less ivory backscratcher.

That's all he has to do. He can still be rich. He just needs to make a slight change in lifestyle. That's all I ask.