Anthony Weiner, Jared Fogle

If they prosecute him, maybe Anthony Weiner could get Jared Fogle as a cellmate. It may not be a good idea to put two hopeless sex addicts together, but they're both Zionists---Fogle had his Bar Mitzvah in Israel and Weiner denies that the West Bank is under Israeli occupation and was constantly trashing Palestinian people---and they both appeared in Sharknado movies. Fogle was in Sharknado 2 and he and Weiner both appeared in Sharknado 3, but Fogle's part was cut when he was arrested.

As his cellmate, Weiner could coax Fogle into the prison gym. Fogle had been enormously fat and lost a huge amount of weight, but he was still in terrible shape. As long as nobody murders him, he could come out of prison a new man, for all the good it would do him.

They're both washed up. They were third-rate to begin with, Weiner a pandering, race-bating politician and Fogle a porn addict who only came up with his "Subway diet" because there was a Subway on the first floor of his college dorm and he was too lazy to go anywhere else. They were incredibly lucky to have gotten as far as they did in life. They should have crashed and burned a long time ago.