Poor wretch who looks like Martin Shkreli

My mother was watching a movie about Steve Prefontaine. She thought it might have been filmed at the University of Oregon because the track in one scene looked a lot like the one at UO.

"It either is or it isn't," I said. "If it doesn't look exactly like it in every way, it's not it."

And it's like this with people. There was a documentary about a bland-looking mass murderer on the run from police. They found a guy who looked just like him. Enough so that his neighbor thought it was him. But the FBI agent said no, his nose was slightly different, and fingerprints showed he was another guy who was long known to police.

And now...now some poor wretch in New York is being threatened by strangers because he looks vaguely like Martin Shkreli.

I'd say he looks as much like Shkreli as James Coburn looked like Lee Marvin. As John Travolta looked like Lilly Tomlin. As Don Knotts looked like Jimmy Carter.

By the way, if you're ever out in public with someone and you see someone who looks like them, don't point it out to them. Don't say "There's someone who looks just like you!" I've seen it happen. No one is ever flattered by this.

I worked a job where everyone called me by the wrong name. They finally told me I looked exactly like a guy who worked another shift. I finally got a look at the guy and was terribly hurt.

I was watching Jaws 2 and my friends pointed to an extra who they said looked exactly like me. Later they showed me a picture of a elderly Chinese guy photographed in the 1930s who they said looked like me, then a picture of a then-recently deceased Lebanese phalangist.

So imagine this poor devil walking around looking like Martin Shkreli. There are pictures of him. I don't think he looks enough like him to fool anyone unless they have some degree of face blindness.