Zombie Girl: The Movie, Pathogen

I heard about Martin Scorcese on location on one of his movies. His mother had a small role. She played an elderly Italian woman. They were working late at night and he was having trouble getting what he needed on film. And his mother started complaining about the obscene language in the script. He finally had to tell her to pipe down and let him work. He said she wasn't happy about it, but she understood that he had to get it done.

Now I'm sitting here watching Zombie Girl: The Movie, a documentary about twelve-year-old Emily Hagins making her feature-length zombie movie, Pathogen. Her mother is helping her a lot, doing a lot of work and spending a huge amount of time on it, but at times the mother is directing the director even though the girl seems to have things under control. Well, if it were me, I'd have been trying to get them to speed it up, too.

The mother was sort of the opposite of Martin Scorcese's mother---or his "mama", as his people would say. Mama Scorcese was slowing things down. Emily Hagins' mother was trying to keep things moving.

Now they're filming in a grocery store.

When I've written scripts, I've tried to write them so all the scenes could be filmed places where no permission would be needed, even if it could be gotten easily. I wouldn't have filmed in a supermarket. The girl seems more ambitious and talented than I've ever been. She convinced them to close the store while they filmed.

I just hope the kids in the documentary aren't watching this particular broadcast. The channel keeps showing commercials for non-prescription aphrodisiacs.

Here's the site for the documentary:

http://www.zombiegirlthemovie.com/

And here is Emily Hagins' oddly named website where you can order her zombie movie, Pathogen:

http://www.cheesynuggets.com/

The musical Annie and the shattered lives in its wake

There've been a few documentaries about Annie. Even the ones that are pro-Annie reveal the dark underbelly of this grotesque musical.

Annie has left a trail of shattered lives, lost childhoods and broken homes.

First of all, they fire children right and left. One girl had the lead in Annie, she got bronchitis. She wanted to keep performing anyway, but the doctor told her mother he would call Child Protective Services if she did. It turns out the girl was right to be worried. She stayed home from work. Became suspicious when she learned that her understudy wasn't the one taking her place. And a fax arrived in the middle of the night. (This may have been before email was in general use.) The rotten bastards fired her by fax.

They would bring the girls out every week and weigh them and measure them. If they grew or gained weight, they were fired.

There were the broken families. One parent had to go on tour with the roadshow production of the play. This meant that parents were separated for long periods. There were several cases where this ended in divorce.

In one case, a mother was sleeping around while on the road. Another mother had to help her secure an abortion.

In another case, a girl from a single-parent home was in the production. Her mother traveled with her, meaning her brother had to be left with his aunt. The brother was essentially turned into an orphan so that his sister could play an orphan on stage.

There was a girl fired from the production. Her mother told her the news. She was fired for having grown a couple of inches. The girl threw an 8 x 10 glossy of herself on the floor, began stomping on it yelling, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" at her own picture.

You watch video of the children working hard, rehearsing over and over as they sing about being forced to work.

But, of course, it's those of us who can't stand crap like Annie who are denounced for being cold-hearted and cynical.

The most hideously exploited child star in the movies or television is at least treated as a recognizable individual. With this disgusting musical, they just bring out another girl, put the wig on her, and the rubes in the audience don't know the difference.

Edgar Ulmer: The Man Off-Screen

The French consider him a genius

I was watching the documentary, Edgar G. Ulmer: The Man Off-Screen, about the B movie director. Some in the French New Wave--Luc Moullet for one--considered him an auteur.

The story was that Ulmer directed an excellent B list movie for Universal studios, a movie called The Black Cat. It should have been his ticket to keep working for the major studios, but he was sleeping with the wife of the nephew of the president of the studio and he was blackballed.

Ulmer went to work for PRC, Producers Releasing Corporation, the most impoverished of the Poverty Row studios. Ulmer claimed that they shot all their movies there in 6 days and that he was given just enough filmstock to shoot on a 2:1 ratio. He was best known for directing the noir film Detour.

The documentary seemed to see Ulmer as a sad case because he didn't get to direct big budget movies and was stuck on Poverty Row. But it's patronizing to feel sorry for someone in his position. Directing 60 low budget movies wasn't good enough? The world isn't full of would-be filmmakers who wouldn't love to live his life?

They interviewed Ulmer's daughter, Arianne, plus Peter Bogdanovich, Roger Corman, Wim Wenders, and Joe Dante.

Dante shared some advice Roger Corman gave him. When making your shooting schedule, figure out how much time you need to make the movie really great. Then figure out how long to make it okay. Then how long just to get it on film. And go with the third one.

Here's my advice: Imagine your movie the way it would look if you had unlimited time and money. Then imagine an extended skit on The Carol Burnett Show or Saturday Night Live, or Mad TV, based on your movie. Then make a movie that looks like the skit.

One of Ulmer's movies, The Island of Forgotten Sins

There was also one of Ulmer's B movies on the DVD, something called The Island of Forgotten Sins.

It wasn't very good.

Throughout the documentary, they told us that directors today could learn a thing or two from Ulmer----they should look at his work before complaining about low budgets and tight schedules. But The Island of Forgotten Sins wasn't much of an inspiration.

It's understandable that the French New Wave looked to American B movies for inspiration. They had a morbid fascination with Hollywood. They wanted to direct movies themselves, and they knew if they were ever going to do so, it would be on very small budgets. But does it make sense for independent filmmakers today to look to these terrible movies from the '30s and '40s?

Instead of B movies, look to American TV shows. Not the new ones---they cost too much. Look at old episodes of Bonanza, The Rifleman, Quincy, McMillan and Wife. T.J. Hooker. Charley's Angels.

Many of these shows were made using B movie techniques, and shows in the '50s and '60s were often directed by former B directors. Joseph Lewis directed episodes The Rifleman. William Beaudine directed episodes of Lassie and Spin & Marty on the old Mickey Mouse Club. Ida Lupino directed episodes of Gilligan's Island.

They worked on extremely tight schedules and low budgets. And they were pretty good shows. Think of what you could do using the same form but different content.