Justin Bieber needs a vacation

The boy may be cracking up. He tried to attack photographers in Britain and had to be dragged away by his own bodyguards. He collapsed on stage, he's tweeted about having the worst birthday ever. He's started appearing late for his concerts even though his fans have early bedtimes.

He's only 19. How long would an actual adult last living the way he does? Look what happened to poor Britney Spears.

Surely he's not famous everywhere. He needs to get away. If not to Western Europe, then Eastern Europe. If people recognize him in the south of France, try Bulgaria. If Bulgaria is a problem, try a Black Sea resort. I know people who have visited Mongolia and it's beautiful.

He should get away and live for a while as a normal kid, or at least a normal tourist. Maybe visit a clinic and have some of those tattoos removed. Let himself go a little. He's awfully sinewy.

And, yes, I know he's legally an adult and a millionaire, but someone needs to take those sports cars away from him. No teenager of mine would be driving one of those things unless I had a huge life insurance policy on him. He should drive a safe, slightly underpowered sedan, mid-size or larger, with an automatic transmission so he could pay attention to the his driving, not shifting gears. And no friends in the car to distract him!

His mother should talk with his pediatrician about the stress he's under.

And no more marijuana!