What the royal family should do

There's a report that the queen of England wants William to be the next king, not Charles, because she thinks the monarchy needs an infusion of fresh blood to keep it afloat.

If she thinks that, she should have abdicated decades ago.

I don't know what makes them think William is such a prize. I'm sure inbreeding has taken its toll on him, too.

Charles should be the next king. He'll be so old by then that he won't last long anyway. People can amuse themselves by charting his physical decline while anticipating the coming reign of King William. And if William turns out to be as embarrassing as the rest of them, they won't be stuck with him as long.

The princes should have been urged to marry women from families where none of the men live past fifty. It would keep things moving. The last "queen mother" lived to be over 100. Thanks to her genes, the British people have been writhing under the scourge of Elizabeth II for sixty years and there's no end in sight. She's 86 and will probably last another fifteen years. By then, Charles will be 79. William will be 45. Would you rather be stuck with Charles for twenty years or William for 55 years?

It would liven things up if the queen abdicated. Not only would someone new take over, but it would set a precedent and people would start demanding that other members of the royal family do the same.

It would make it more interesting if the queen gave some vague hint that she was abdicating due to her role in a shameful scandal that continues to be hidden from the public.