It dawned on me the other day that I completely missed prom season this year. I googled it and found that there were a couple of prom night murders and a few other fatalities. A 17-year-old girl was driving her father's car 112 miles per hour while her friends pleaded with her to stop. Cars are so safe now. They crashed at that speed and only one of them was killed.
But there were no prom dress controversies, no one got into the news for taking a cardboard cutout or other inanimate object as a date.
The cardboard cutout thing has run its course. If you want to get into the national news next year, hire an Elvis impersonator. Boys should think about taking a female impersonator. I don't know if performers would hire themselves out as escorts, but see if you can go to the prom with a man dressed as Carol Channing.
Are there still companies hiring out celebrity look-alikes? Try to get a Smokey and the Bandit-era Burt Reynolds.
It would cost a lot and it would be pointless. It would get you in the news, but it's not like you'd get a record contract or a book deal out of it.
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