Ryan Reynolds, Fifteen

I still haven't seen Ryan Reynolds in anything but the teenage soap opera Fifteen, the least operatic soap opera imaginable. It was a weekly show on Canadian TV and on Nickelodeon.

The main things I remember about him---there was the time his character was kicked out of a band because of his poor drumming, and an episode where he says, "Go ahead! Hit me! If it'll make you feel like a BIG MAN!"

Much like Saddam Hussein's last words. The group gathered to witness his execution were a rather vocal in their approval. "Do you feel like men?" Hussein shouted. Made up a little for his pitiful surrender.

Hussein's tween grandson picked up an AK47 and started shooting when Uday and Qusay were killed. The poor boy was killed immediately, but he didn't come crawling out of his spider hole begging them not to shoot like his grandfather did.

But I'm way off the subject.

Fifteen was awful, but it could have used elements of its awfulness to it's advantage.

There was an episode where a kid who had never shown any sign that there was anything wrong with him announces that he's going into treatment for alcoholism. He talks blandly about his shame at being an alcoholic.

"Now that I'm an alcoholic..."

It was so easy. That axiom writers keep spouting---"Show don't tell"----meant nothing. They could have effortlessly done anything, any crazy plot twist, just by having a kid say it.

"A therapist convinced me I had repressed memories of satanic abuse, so I falsely accused my parents. Now my Mom is in a prison gang and wants to get even with me. And it turns out my foster parents really are Satanists but no one will believe me. Sort of a boy who cried wolf thing."

But I don't remember any conflict or drama. I saw one kid from the show later in a TV docudrama about Amy Fisher and I saw on IMDb.com that a few of the kids went on to bigger things on Canadian TV, but nothing came of it for most of them, poor devils.

I just googled it. Season One is available on Amazon Prime.