Pets & animals

Movies turned me off to pets and animals. They're like old people. They almost always die by the end of the movie. You see them being very helpful in adventure movies, but you know that in real life, if it were any animal you ever had, they would get lost in about five minutes and you'd never see them again, or you would be constantly struggling to keep them from getting lost or killed. That's the main thing you do as a pet owner anyway. You have to fight constantly to keep animals from getting out and killing themselves.

I was driving down the street. There was a cat sleeping in the street. I stopped and got out and chased it out of the street but when I went back to the car the stupid went back and lay down in the street.

I've had dogs that were just looking for a chance to get loose and run into traffic. I was once in a park and tried to help a couple who were trying to stop a dog from running into the highway.

Why do people want pets? Why do they want to be slaves to these animals? You can't go to bed early because you have to take them out. You can't sleep late because you have to get up and take them out. You can't leave the house for more than a few hours. 

Now, at work, we're struggling with a small, cute, vicious dog that will attack any stranger who walks in. A Fed Ex driver held his hand out for the dog to sniff so he'd calm down, and ended up in the emergency room for stitches. Their other dog, a rescue from a puppy mill, will only defecate indoors. 

Man I hate pets.